all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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