I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize