wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize