i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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