how can u be prego again
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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