New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
