The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Houston, we have a blender
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
