So drunk its hurt
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
