How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I FOUND THE LEGS
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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