redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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