This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
