epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just want to make out with him forever
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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