We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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