You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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