is your mom at the bar?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
