its not stalking. its research.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
