why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
