Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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