Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
