i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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