Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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