how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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