I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
