peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Enjoy the penises
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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