There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
