Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
