Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
from now on my penis is your penis
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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