to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
