Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
