I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
