I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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