thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
