hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize