I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
