You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
