Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
