My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
