How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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