idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
