i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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