dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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