i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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