Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
