we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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