school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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