trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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