i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
