I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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