We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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