he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize