It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
