have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
