If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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