people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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