Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
