I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
