Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
