Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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